If you're a plant lover or even if everything you ever stick in dirt dies right away I will send you a plant potted in REAL potting soil from our back yard!
Yes, it will be a one time LIVE plant that is completely organic or thereabouts and has the potential to entertain and charm grow and thrive or decay in your back yard. Be the envy of your entire neighborhood! Imagine how striking your front lawn will look if you're the winning bidder! Just think of the look of love when your significant other is surprised when this arrives in the mail! Nothing can make another stare in wonder at your auction prowess! And the best of all...You could be on LIVE TV...maybe even a late night TV Show if YOU are the winning bidder! (don't hold your breath on this)
Here's what this is NOT!
It is NOT a get rich scheme.
It is NOT any kind of MLM.
It is NOT a new car.
It is NOT a puppy dog.
It is NOT a kitty cat.
It is NOT a new house.
It is NOT a fully paid vacation to anywhere.
It is NOT a way to make money of any sort except for me.
It is NOT a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (Maybe a dull one if you're really a super klutz!)
It is NOT a promise to grow, thrive, entertain nor charm.
It is NOT a get rich scheme.
It is NOT any kind of MLM.
It is NOT a new car.
It is NOT a puppy dog.
It is NOT a kitty cat.
It is NOT a new house.
It is NOT a fully paid vacation to anywhere.
It is NOT a way to make money of any sort except for me.
It is NOT a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (Maybe a dull one if you're really a super klutz!)
It is NOT a promise to grow, thrive, entertain nor charm.
Never has any company ever made such an offer and now you can get in on the ground floor of a one time only opportunity to have a real plant that was actually alive in our back yard and still might be when it arrives at your door! It may or may not be alive when you receive it and even if you decide to return any part or portion or none at all all the soil and all organic material are yours to keep forever! As an added bonus you can also keep the pot or container it is shipped in plus the box and even the shipping label! As a matter of fact we don't even want it back under ANY circumstances! It's yours to keep, cherish and show off to your friends and family from the time you receive it till the end of time! (This is a nice way of saying no returns for any reason, but you may at your own peril ignore this part!)
Before you bid I want you to call all of your friends, all your family members and all of your co-workers right now so that they might also get in on this one time opportunity to bid as well! Don't be a greedy person and keep this one time only offer to yourself! Share this opportunity with EVERYONE you have EVER known no matter how remote that relationship might have been! The auction Gods will smile at you if you do this because, well, it's just the right thing to do because you could be saving an innocent plant from...? I don't want to think of what could happen.
But is this all I can offer you as the winning bidder? Not on your life, not a chance!
If you're the winning bidder you'll also receive a puff of the gas all plants need to survive, a good whiff of C02! I'll send along a small baggie full of C02 from my very own own lungs and if you know anything about science at all we take in oxygen and give out C02 so you know it'll be good for your plant if the plant is still alive. (However I might package the C02 as carefully as I can I simply cannot be responsible if for some unforeseen reason the gas should escape. If the gas escapes then simply blow into it yourself. I can assure you that you also produce C02 as well as long as you're still breathing and alive. Also I cannot be held responsible if the plant and container becomes unstable and falls out of its container (pot) or dried out if watered. Buyer assumes ALL risks, but no plants have been harmed in the making of this listing and every picture was really taken in our back yard!)
The odds are totally in your favor now!
So, if you REALLY want this plant, and you know you do, just go to http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260262957916 and bid. Remember...Bid often and bid high!
